I see a lot of mischievousness and wonder right there. :)

So, my little guy turned three last Sunday.

That's three years of endless karga (carrying) and unlimited dede (breastfeeding). Three years of good mornings and good nights and bear hugs and sloppy kisses. Three years of wonder and wander. Almost three years of the most amusing and funniest of adult-like conversations with this little smarty pants. Three years of learning and growing and discovering, of fiercely and deeply loving and being loved and overflowing. Three years of laughter and headache and craziness and eternal lack of sleep. And it's all good honey, it's all gooood. And the best part is, a lot of good things, even better things, are yet to come!

Thank you Lord for our biggest blessing, thank you for entrusting him with us and for choosing us to be the parents of this little ball of wonder (and energy! LOL). On to the third! :)

One day after Christmas, exactly on my little guy's two-year-and-six-month-old mark, the most unthinkable happened -- we were apart for one night. Yes, apart, not just in different beds or in different rooms in the house. I mean in different cities, with different companies.

And it happened so suddenly, without any preamble or practice and without any easing into it. What is even more remarkable is the fact that it was MY BABY, err, my little guy, who made the decision (of going away from me overnight and for nearly 24 hours hehe).

Yes, it is a big deal. Since birth, this little guy had always slept by my (and my husband's) side. We have been breastfeeding and cosleeping since birth. I have never spent a night away from him. Wherever I go, he goes too. In as much as I long for a very quick travel with my husband, too, I just could not imagine HOW, given our circumstances with our clingy little boy. :)

Clingy, yes, to the point that I have a self-imposed curfew since he just would not go to bed without me home yet. And believe me, he checks on me in the middle of the night and makes sure we're sleeping side by side. I don't know if he is fully awake when he does, or if he does so subconsciously and half-asleep, but oh he does, all the time. I just could not envision that he (or I) would be ready to be apart from each other overnight soon enough.

And it happened. Too soon and all too sudden, actually. He just decided last minute to go out of town with my parents and siblings and a cousin. We probably asked him a hundred times if he was sure that he wanted to go without me, and if he understood that he won't be sleeping with me. Which means, no dede (breastfeeding) time for the night, too. He was sure and he was very decisive -- YES, yes, yes. Even bid me a sweet "See you tomorrow Momma!" a number of times. So off my family merrily drove to Subic with their giddy two-year-old passenger on a Saturday morning. My husband and I went the following day.

Reunited (in Subic) and it feels so good. :)

And how was it, might you ask? It was goooood all throughout their waking hours. I wish I could say it was good from start to end, but of course, there was some crying involved in the middle of his sleep. It follows that there were different levels of sleep deprivation, too, both on his end and mine. LOL. And, can you imagine, the little boy flat out REFUSED TO SLEEP at first even though he was so sleepy already?! Yes, even before his usual bed time, he had already declared that no, he was not sleeping that night, not until Momma comes the following day. And oh boy, did he try his best to really stick to his words! He did fall asleep eventually, at somewhere close to midnight. Whew.

At least, one of my biggest fears that day -- that we might have to drive to Subic in the wee hours of the night to come to his rescue, because it just did not work out -- did not happen. Halelujah! All in all, we made it, we graciously made it.  I did miss him (A LOT!) and I was pretty sure he missed me terribly, too. He literally never left my side again when we came to fetch them. LOL.

Milestone weekend for the both of us. I love you, Thirdypooper!

It was not the easiest of nights (especially for my family hehe), but it sure was one for the books and one of the many milestones not just for my little guy, but also in my parenting journey. :)

It's the most wonderful time of the year! :)

And it's all the more wonderful if you have little kid(s) running around your home, must I say. Oops, I just realized I already said that piece on my Christmas post last year -- that Christmas is a lot more fun and meaningful once you have your own little family or little kiddos. :)

It really is. It's like kids are magically spreading the Christmas stardust and enchanting us with their infectious merry, jolly, happy Christmas spirit.We had a blast with our second Christmas with our one-year old last year, but I tell you, it just keeps getting better!

Sending over some Christmas cheers through these photos of our little guy giddily opening his presents on Christmas day:

How often do you receive a hug? How often do you give out one?

Did you know that scientifically, research has proven that hugs are much beneficial to our well-being?

Right. Bet you we didn't even need any research to validate that. Let's admit it - what's more comforting than a hug whenever we are down, stressed, and depressed? Maybe not much; other than good ol' shopping, of course. :) But then again, hugs are instantaneous, hugely gratifying, and do not hurt the pocket at all.

Research even says there's a required minimum number of hugs per day and duration of hugs (can you believe that?!) for them to be truly uplifting in our daily lives and for their long-term benefits to be truly felt. No, I won't scrunch up the numbers on you, but we did discuss them in my Psych (elective) classes in undergrad and in grad school. :)

Scientifics aside, I really am a huge believer in the healing power of touch, especially hugs. No, not just its healing powers, but more so its "building powers." Constantly getting hugs guarantees a surge of positive emotions that in turn builds someone's personality (positively so). Hugging just melts away one's daily stresses and lightens the burden of one's more pressing problems. It is not merely a physical connection -- it forges empathy, forms an understanding between the minds and the hearts involved. A lovers' quarrel is never truly resolved without a hug involved. It is a security blanket. It reassures children that they are loved, and that some people are there for them no matter what.

Indeed. (Image source here)

The other day, I learned that our part-time cleaner and plantsadora's (is she an Iron Lady then? I wish I am. hekhekhek) little boy had a minor episode with my little one. Those two boys are roughly of the same age. They were playing one afternoon, and as usual, my Thirdy kept on attempting to hug the other little guy. Much to the latter's protest, and probably bewilderment. The other kid kept on crying whenever Thirdy would hug him. More than that, he was either on fight or escape mode.

We dissed it as nothing but friendly toddler play. But when I got to talk to the mom, she confirmed they (them at home) have never hugged her son, so he probably taught somebody was picking a fight on him when somebody attempted to hug him. My eyes went wide while my heart ached a little when I heard that.

I render no judgment to the parents of the boy, but somehow, I got sad. Here's a little kid who has not gotten any hug his entire life yet. Sure, they have a much different family dynamics and culture. I guess I just thought that, most especially with babies and little kids, it's next to impossible not to sniff and hug them. All the time. I thought it's instinctive, especially to parents. It's like love just flows and overflows and I just hug my little darling randomly whenever I felt like it, which is quite too often -- and he does the same way to us. (I'm not telling she does not have overflowing love for her son here, ok?:) We hug wherever and whenever, we hug even when asleep.

About to give my boys a huuuug. Hug whenever, wherever! :)

I have gotten over it, and I think our cleaning lady has vowed to try harder giving his son hugs. Probably not just hugs, but affection in general.I sincerely hope so.

But no matter, I stand by this firmly: affection begets affection. Hug begets hugs. And those are the cheapest and most potent form of therapy, yo! :)

Sharing an article I wrote for our office's web publication. :) It didn't make it to last month's International Breastfeeding Awareness Month. But here goes, still part of breastfeeding as one of my biggest advocacies in my parenting journey.

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I have been breastfeeding my son, who recently turned two, since birth. He has not taken any milk other than mine. He eats regular meals and snacks these days, but for the first six months of life, we breastfed exclusively. That means no water, no formula, not even vitamins.

I have personally seen how my son and other breastfed babies around me develop and thrive. My son hardly gets sick, and was assessed by his pediatrician to be  advanced in a few notable aspects of development. We are as close as a mother and  young child could ever be.

I will forever treasure our breastfeeding chapter. :)

Breastfeeding has its challenges, but once one gets past the first few critical weeks, breastfeeding can  be the most natural thing ever for a new mother to do.

As with any beautiful thing worth pursuing, breastfeeding comes with  “birth pains” at the start. Mothers  go through a lot during pregnancy and childbirth, and the first few weeks upon giving birth are  a difficult  and vulnerable period for her. It is important to have a  breastfeeding-advocate pediatrician and a solid support group at home to pursue breastfeeding.

One very important thing I learned from attending breastfeeding seminars and from lactation consultants is that breastfeeding is mostly psychological. You have to believe in your body that it is capable of doing what it was designed for in the first place – to nourish your babies. For exclusive and extended breastfeeding to be successful, you have to really want it, to be fully committed to it.

Expressing and Donating Milk

I started expressing milk  shortly before my maternity leave ended. I would pump once, sometimes twice a day, while my baby slept. By the time I came back to office, my frozen milk stash was substantial enough that I had to transfer them to my in-laws’ house since they have a spare deep freezer to accommodate my growing stash. I  tried to express every three to four hours upon my return from maternity leave. My baby would take some of my expressed milk, but the amazing thing was that he would wait for me to come home so he could latch directly and feed to his heart’s content. I pumped whenever I could. Soon, I had so much more expressed milk than my baby could deal with.

I started donating milk when a friend asked for breastmilk for her sick daughter. Then another from my mommy group asked for a few weeks’ supply of milk for her newborn neighbor who lost her mom in childbirth. When Typhoon Haiyan ravaged the Visayas in 2013 and the Department of Health called  for breastmilk donors, I immediately donated my entire milk stash, then around 10 liters. I saw how the breastfeeding community really mobilized to help the infants in dire need of breastmilk then. The best part was, it was not a short-sighted hand-to-mouth project. Distribution of donated breastmilk came with a much-needed information campaign. Mothers who were mix-feeding were encouraged to ditch the formula, while those who recently stopped breastfeeding were provided with information, support, and resources to enable them to re-lactate.

That was the start of my monthly donations. I wanted to  donate to a children’s hospital, and the Philippine Children’s Medical Center (PCMC) in Quezon City was easily my top choice. That signalled the start of a wonderful relationship with the PCMC Milk Bank’s nurses and staff. Sometimes they would call me apologetically to ask if I have some spare milk. Thankfully, I have been blessed abundantly and it seemed like I always have something to share whenever I got a call.

Sticking to a pumping schedule at work is not easy. It can become too much of a chore and I would usually miss a session or two. What kept me going was the thought of having something to offer when the PCMC Milk Bank staff knock on my door.

Meeting the Littlest Ones in Dire Need of Donated Milk

Meeting the doctors and nurses tirelessly running PCMC and saving every baby that came their way.

Last month, the PCMC invited me to a simple gathering and awarding of their most frequent breastmilk donors. It was humbling to finally meet the Milk Bank staff and the doctors tirelessly running the hospital, trying their best to save every  baby that came their way. We were ushered into their NICU, to introduce us to their littlest ones that we, in essence, helped feed. It was such a tearjerker to finally meet their littlest ones in the NICU – the topmost priority in the hierarchy of donated breastmilk recipients – bravely soldiering on. Most were premature babies who are on life support (weighing as light as 500  grams and just slightly bigger than my hand), young premature babies who were already operated on, sick babies fighting for life, premature babies who lost their mothers during childbirth. These babies were given nothing but breastmilk. I was crying the whole time I was at the NICU.

Meeting the littlest ones of PCMC.

I stepped out feeling grateful and even more passionate about this biggest advocacy of mine. I also felt complete. Somehow, meeting these babies was the missing piece in my breastfeeding and milk donating journey. I may not know them personally, but I felt very  connected to these little soldiers, and to the hospital that looks after them.

Encouraging Others to Donate

I encourage moms who have a little extra to donate their milk, if they can. What is a blessing to you and your baby may extend lives and may be a reason for some to keep fighting. It does not matter how little extra milk you have each day.

At present, I am only able to express an ounce of extra milk since my body has recognized the lesser demand for milk. I keep thinking I’ve reached the end of my milk-sharing journey, but I always get surprised that until now, I am still able to build a small cache. Miraculously, I still have a few cups in the fridge and at least a dozen more bags in the freezer, waiting to be picked up for donation. I will continue to breastfeed for as long as I can but I know that I will soon be putting aside my “milk donor” hat. I hope a friend or two will fill  in for me.

My favorite little person with two of his favorite things -- big fountain and miniature chairs to push and carry around. :) Taken today, Mother's Day :)

Oh little munchkin, as I've already told you (written to you) before, thank you for bringing into life a new me -- that Momma with a fresh take at life; that Momma with a gentle yet bold an fierce spirit; that Momma with an incessantly burning drive to be the best version of herself, to be the best mom for you, and to give you the best; that Momma with overflowing, limitless love for you. You are a piece of Momma's heart breathing and living outside her body, and you are Momma's calling.♥

Shout out too to my mom, the woman who selflessly raised me and nurtured me well, thereby equipping me early on with the building blocks of what it takes to be a real mom. ♥ :)

Ola! How was your weekend?

Mine was rather long (three-day weekend for me, woot!), action packed, heartwarming, and much love-filled. :) We are in the middle of  a yaya-less week, something that intimidated me a few weeks ago. I absolutely love taking care of and being with our little darling and I'd pick a sweaty and messy day with him over my own tidy space in the corporate world anytime, but I got worried a bit about the no-yaya part since my triahlon is just a week away (GASP!). I was, uhm, hoping to crunch in some last minute mileage. Panic training? Hee hee.

Well, I did get to squeeze in a couple of swim sessions, a short and sweet bike trainer sesh in the comforts of our bedroom, as well as a nighttime run in our neighborhood. But more than that -- a lot more than that -- I feel much accomplished this weekend as regards my Momma-ing! Yay, a heaping bowl of Thirdy time over the "long weekend!" Hurray!

Little guy, you and Momma are so going to be buddies for life (whether you like it or not when you're all grown up already!) :D

Save for a few hours spent training, we (three) were inseparable for three days. We had a couple of non-negotiable appointments for Thirdy and a few errands and social time with friends and family, and Thirdy was the perfect lakwatsa buddy!

Not without his own demands, though. His terms were: we had to take him to see the fountain (oh fountain, my fountain! he can be bribed with fountains), he had to see some Christmas lights, he had to set foot on the mall, eat bread on the mall, and so on and so forth. Very minor demands next to the sheer joy of his company and we were more than willing to oblige and indulge our little boss. :)

Here are snippets of our fun-filled and busy weekend:  

Friday night out.

Never mind the photobomber. Ain't I looking every inch the tanned, strong triathlete Momma now? :P :P

Agree, baby.

I swear it was a lot more gleeful than those faces. LOL.

So much fun, I'm almost dreading Monday! But then again I needed all the positivity to face yet another busy week. :)

Otherwise entitled, "Happy first birthday, Thirdypooper!"

My dear Thirdy,

Today, you turn one. Has it been a year since I cradled you in my arms for the first time, oh so small and sweet smelling? Momma was too weak then from a rather looong and taxing labor which lead to emergency operation anyway. My flesh might be weak that time, but my heart had never been more alive.

On your first birthday, I also celebrate Momma's first birthday. When you were born, Momma was born, too. That Momma with a fresh take at life, that Momma with a gentle yet bold and fierce spirit, that Momma with an incessantly burning drive to be the best for you and give you the best, that Momma with overflowing, limitless love for you, as I'm sure your Daddy is also for you. That Momma who knows what she wants in life, that Momma with that quiet yet brazen confidence to go after the things she wants, a huge part of which is all about you, my dear baby.

Indeed, our lives, or at least our household, now revolves around you -- you and your cuteness and the joy that you bring and more importantly, us looking after you and making sure that every little thing you ever need is unto you. But the truth is, it is YOU who gives us a lot more than we do.

The way you hug and cling to Daddey in the morning. They way you call Momma, the way you lock eyes with Momma while breastfeeding. What more could we ask for? You have given us (not just Momma and Daddy, but also Wawas and Wowos and everybody surrounding you) and you continue to give us joy that no other can bring. That sparkle in your eyes when you smile, that wide-eyed wonder whenever you learn and discover something new, your hugs and "mmmwa"s, they all sustain us. They fill our days with much love, joy, and laughter.

I size you up in awe, wonder, and disbelief while you sleep. I could not quite wrap my fingers around how swift the year zoomed by, how so many things have happened in so brief a period, how different and how wonderful our lives have changed since. I would give anything to keep the way things are now -- your dependence and "addiction" to Mommy, as Daddy calls it, how you rank Momma's touch, hugs, and "dede" as the most familiar and most comfortable things for you, the frenzied excitement each time Momma comes home, never mind that she was gone for just half an hour.

But that is against the rule of nature. There is no stopping you now. You are flourishing, turning out to be such a smart (really smart, biases aside!), sweet yet headstrong little guy. Plus, Daddey is extremely excited to see you learn how to swim, and bike, run, fly a kite, go camping with us, you know, all those stuff we love to do together and would love to do with you (you bet Momma is just as excited as Daddey). Momma can't wait to travel and discover new worlds with you. And we live for the day you pass the UPCAT and finish cum laude, all while being a Best Thesis awardee, excelling in your varsity team, and.. oops. I kid, son. We won't be too hard on you, although we bet you can do all those *wink* and yes, Momma will savor and live in the moment.

You are our present, and I mean that both as a gift and the 'here and now.' You are our future, and you make the pieces of our past all fall into their places. You are a piece of Momma's heart breathing and living outside her body, and I almost literally mean that.

Every 26th of June, please allow Momma jubilant hours to celebrate you, as well as pensive moments to celebrate the Mommah that was born with you. Our hearts are entwined, and we are in this together.

Happy birthday son. You are loved more than I can ever put together in a letter. :)

I've been told we will never fully comprehend our parents' love for us until we become parents ourselves, the love of our mother until we become a mother to someone else.

The moment I became a mom, the moment I met Thirdy for the first time, I finally understand. It is a love so pure and selfless, so simple yet so profound.

When I delivered Thirdy, it felt like a piece of my heart and soul was taken from the pits of my bosom. And now I tell you, mothering is to have a piece of one's heart live outside her body.

You will always be my baby.

It is involuntarily putting someone's welfare above and ahead of oneself. Involuntary. Default mode. It is sheer, unadulterated joy by merely looking at one's bundle of joy. It is melting and overflowing and bursting by a mere smile, kiss, or hug. It is being vulnerable and strong at the same time, knowing someone's future -- someone most important -- largely depends on us. It is sporting greasy, tangled hair and milk spit up-stained outfits, tolerating a messy room and schedules messed up and appointments missed -- because these are but a speck in our lives, and so many bigger matters do matter a lot more.

Enjoying a hearty moment just before the camera snapped away.

This and so on, as I am at the infancy stage of this new chapter in my life and I still have a long journey ahead of me.

It's my first Mother's Day, and for over ten months now, I've been able to discover and fathom how deep and incredible a mother's love is. Incredible does not quite cut it.

To the greatest mom I know (my mom!), to all my mommy friends, and to all the gorgeous, strong mommas out there, here's a hug and a salute! You ladies are beyond awesome! :)