Otherwise entitled, "Happy first birthday, Thirdypooper!"

My dear Thirdy,

Today, you turn one. Has it been a year since I cradled you in my arms for the first time, oh so small and sweet smelling? Momma was too weak then from a rather looong and taxing labor which lead to emergency operation anyway. My flesh might be weak that time, but my heart had never been more alive.

On your first birthday, I also celebrate Momma's first birthday. When you were born, Momma was born, too. That Momma with a fresh take at life, that Momma with a gentle yet bold and fierce spirit, that Momma with an incessantly burning drive to be the best for you and give you the best, that Momma with overflowing, limitless love for you, as I'm sure your Daddy is also for you. That Momma who knows what she wants in life, that Momma with that quiet yet brazen confidence to go after the things she wants, a huge part of which is all about you, my dear baby.

Indeed, our lives, or at least our household, now revolves around you -- you and your cuteness and the joy that you bring and more importantly, us looking after you and making sure that every little thing you ever need is unto you. But the truth is, it is YOU who gives us a lot more than we do.

The way you hug and cling to Daddey in the morning. They way you call Momma, the way you lock eyes with Momma while breastfeeding. What more could we ask for? You have given us (not just Momma and Daddy, but also Wawas and Wowos and everybody surrounding you) and you continue to give us joy that no other can bring. That sparkle in your eyes when you smile, that wide-eyed wonder whenever you learn and discover something new, your hugs and "mmmwa"s, they all sustain us. They fill our days with much love, joy, and laughter.

I size you up in awe, wonder, and disbelief while you sleep. I could not quite wrap my fingers around how swift the year zoomed by, how so many things have happened in so brief a period, how different and how wonderful our lives have changed since. I would give anything to keep the way things are now -- your dependence and "addiction" to Mommy, as Daddy calls it, how you rank Momma's touch, hugs, and "dede" as the most familiar and most comfortable things for you, the frenzied excitement each time Momma comes home, never mind that she was gone for just half an hour.

But that is against the rule of nature. There is no stopping you now. You are flourishing, turning out to be such a smart (really smart, biases aside!), sweet yet headstrong little guy. Plus, Daddey is extremely excited to see you learn how to swim, and bike, run, fly a kite, go camping with us, you know, all those stuff we love to do together and would love to do with you (you bet Momma is just as excited as Daddey). Momma can't wait to travel and discover new worlds with you. And we live for the day you pass the UPCAT and finish cum laude, all while being a Best Thesis awardee, excelling in your varsity team, and.. oops. I kid, son. We won't be too hard on you, although we bet you can do all those *wink* and yes, Momma will savor and live in the moment.

You are our present, and I mean that both as a gift and the 'here and now.' You are our future, and you make the pieces of our past all fall into their places. You are a piece of Momma's heart breathing and living outside her body, and I almost literally mean that.

Every 26th of June, please allow Momma jubilant hours to celebrate you, as well as pensive moments to celebrate the Mommah that was born with you. Our hearts are entwined, and we are in this together.

Happy birthday son. You are loved more than I can ever put together in a letter. :)