How often do you receive a hug? How often do you give out one?

Did you know that scientifically, research has proven that hugs are much beneficial to our well-being?

Right. Bet you we didn't even need any research to validate that. Let's admit it - what's more comforting than a hug whenever we are down, stressed, and depressed? Maybe not much; other than good ol' shopping, of course. :) But then again, hugs are instantaneous, hugely gratifying, and do not hurt the pocket at all.

Research even says there's a required minimum number of hugs per day and duration of hugs (can you believe that?!) for them to be truly uplifting in our daily lives and for their long-term benefits to be truly felt. No, I won't scrunch up the numbers on you, but we did discuss them in my Psych (elective) classes in undergrad and in grad school. :)

Scientifics aside, I really am a huge believer in the healing power of touch, especially hugs. No, not just its healing powers, but more so its "building powers." Constantly getting hugs guarantees a surge of positive emotions that in turn builds someone's personality (positively so). Hugging just melts away one's daily stresses and lightens the burden of one's more pressing problems. It is not merely a physical connection -- it forges empathy, forms an understanding between the minds and the hearts involved. A lovers' quarrel is never truly resolved without a hug involved. It is a security blanket. It reassures children that they are loved, and that some people are there for them no matter what.

Indeed. (Image source here)

The other day, I learned that our part-time cleaner and plantsadora's (is she an Iron Lady then? I wish I am. hekhekhek) little boy had a minor episode with my little one. Those two boys are roughly of the same age. They were playing one afternoon, and as usual, my Thirdy kept on attempting to hug the other little guy. Much to the latter's protest, and probably bewilderment. The other kid kept on crying whenever Thirdy would hug him. More than that, he was either on fight or escape mode.

We dissed it as nothing but friendly toddler play. But when I got to talk to the mom, she confirmed they (them at home) have never hugged her son, so he probably taught somebody was picking a fight on him when somebody attempted to hug him. My eyes went wide while my heart ached a little when I heard that.

I render no judgment to the parents of the boy, but somehow, I got sad. Here's a little kid who has not gotten any hug his entire life yet. Sure, they have a much different family dynamics and culture. I guess I just thought that, most especially with babies and little kids, it's next to impossible not to sniff and hug them. All the time. I thought it's instinctive, especially to parents. It's like love just flows and overflows and I just hug my little darling randomly whenever I felt like it, which is quite too often -- and he does the same way to us. (I'm not telling she does not have overflowing love for her son here, ok?:) We hug wherever and whenever, we hug even when asleep.

About to give my boys a huuuug. Hug whenever, wherever! :)

I have gotten over it, and I think our cleaning lady has vowed to try harder giving his son hugs. Probably not just hugs, but affection in general.I sincerely hope so.

But no matter, I stand by this firmly: affection begets affection. Hug begets hugs. And those are the cheapest and most potent form of therapy, yo! :)

I never thought a two-year old could have so much opinion, so much insight about so many things, so much imagination. And I'm loving every minute of it!

Last week, our little Thirdy started an animated conversation with us on how he would go to the office -- pretend play, of course. He came up with complete details such as the where tos, the how tos, small nitty gritty like his pretend laptop for his pretend work in his pretend office. He was so into his own story telling, with emphatic body movements and dramatic facial expressions of a little boy convincing his parents that he's the adult one in the room and they better listen to him. Just how cute is that! :)

This little guy got a lot of ROFL-worthy tricks, antics, and stories up on his sleeves, yo!

This was how he went on:

Sharing an article I wrote for our office's web publication. :) It didn't make it to last month's International Breastfeeding Awareness Month. But here goes, still part of breastfeeding as one of my biggest advocacies in my parenting journey.

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I have been breastfeeding my son, who recently turned two, since birth. He has not taken any milk other than mine. He eats regular meals and snacks these days, but for the first six months of life, we breastfed exclusively. That means no water, no formula, not even vitamins.

I have personally seen how my son and other breastfed babies around me develop and thrive. My son hardly gets sick, and was assessed by his pediatrician to be  advanced in a few notable aspects of development. We are as close as a mother and  young child could ever be.

I will forever treasure our breastfeeding chapter. :)

Breastfeeding has its challenges, but once one gets past the first few critical weeks, breastfeeding can  be the most natural thing ever for a new mother to do.

As with any beautiful thing worth pursuing, breastfeeding comes with  “birth pains” at the start. Mothers  go through a lot during pregnancy and childbirth, and the first few weeks upon giving birth are  a difficult  and vulnerable period for her. It is important to have a  breastfeeding-advocate pediatrician and a solid support group at home to pursue breastfeeding.

One very important thing I learned from attending breastfeeding seminars and from lactation consultants is that breastfeeding is mostly psychological. You have to believe in your body that it is capable of doing what it was designed for in the first place – to nourish your babies. For exclusive and extended breastfeeding to be successful, you have to really want it, to be fully committed to it.

Expressing and Donating Milk

I started expressing milk  shortly before my maternity leave ended. I would pump once, sometimes twice a day, while my baby slept. By the time I came back to office, my frozen milk stash was substantial enough that I had to transfer them to my in-laws’ house since they have a spare deep freezer to accommodate my growing stash. I  tried to express every three to four hours upon my return from maternity leave. My baby would take some of my expressed milk, but the amazing thing was that he would wait for me to come home so he could latch directly and feed to his heart’s content. I pumped whenever I could. Soon, I had so much more expressed milk than my baby could deal with.

I started donating milk when a friend asked for breastmilk for her sick daughter. Then another from my mommy group asked for a few weeks’ supply of milk for her newborn neighbor who lost her mom in childbirth. When Typhoon Haiyan ravaged the Visayas in 2013 and the Department of Health called  for breastmilk donors, I immediately donated my entire milk stash, then around 10 liters. I saw how the breastfeeding community really mobilized to help the infants in dire need of breastmilk then. The best part was, it was not a short-sighted hand-to-mouth project. Distribution of donated breastmilk came with a much-needed information campaign. Mothers who were mix-feeding were encouraged to ditch the formula, while those who recently stopped breastfeeding were provided with information, support, and resources to enable them to re-lactate.

That was the start of my monthly donations. I wanted to  donate to a children’s hospital, and the Philippine Children’s Medical Center (PCMC) in Quezon City was easily my top choice. That signalled the start of a wonderful relationship with the PCMC Milk Bank’s nurses and staff. Sometimes they would call me apologetically to ask if I have some spare milk. Thankfully, I have been blessed abundantly and it seemed like I always have something to share whenever I got a call.

Sticking to a pumping schedule at work is not easy. It can become too much of a chore and I would usually miss a session or two. What kept me going was the thought of having something to offer when the PCMC Milk Bank staff knock on my door.

Meeting the Littlest Ones in Dire Need of Donated Milk

Meeting the doctors and nurses tirelessly running PCMC and saving every baby that came their way.

Last month, the PCMC invited me to a simple gathering and awarding of their most frequent breastmilk donors. It was humbling to finally meet the Milk Bank staff and the doctors tirelessly running the hospital, trying their best to save every  baby that came their way. We were ushered into their NICU, to introduce us to their littlest ones that we, in essence, helped feed. It was such a tearjerker to finally meet their littlest ones in the NICU – the topmost priority in the hierarchy of donated breastmilk recipients – bravely soldiering on. Most were premature babies who are on life support (weighing as light as 500  grams and just slightly bigger than my hand), young premature babies who were already operated on, sick babies fighting for life, premature babies who lost their mothers during childbirth. These babies were given nothing but breastmilk. I was crying the whole time I was at the NICU.

Meeting the littlest ones of PCMC.

I stepped out feeling grateful and even more passionate about this biggest advocacy of mine. I also felt complete. Somehow, meeting these babies was the missing piece in my breastfeeding and milk donating journey. I may not know them personally, but I felt very  connected to these little soldiers, and to the hospital that looks after them.

Encouraging Others to Donate

I encourage moms who have a little extra to donate their milk, if they can. What is a blessing to you and your baby may extend lives and may be a reason for some to keep fighting. It does not matter how little extra milk you have each day.

At present, I am only able to express an ounce of extra milk since my body has recognized the lesser demand for milk. I keep thinking I’ve reached the end of my milk-sharing journey, but I always get surprised that until now, I am still able to build a small cache. Miraculously, I still have a few cups in the fridge and at least a dozen more bags in the freezer, waiting to be picked up for donation. I will continue to breastfeed for as long as I can but I know that I will soon be putting aside my “milk donor” hat. I hope a friend or two will fill  in for me.

I am currently drowning in a sea of all things colorful and giddy and warm and fuzzy. That's what happens when one turns a major chapter in their life as fab as she thought she'll ever be, with a bagful of love, gratitude, hope, and promise. :)

I turn 30 today, and really, I have never been this excited and welcoming as I enter a new "chapter" aka decade. Cue: fireworks please!

Shout out to the Big Guy Up There -- thank You Lord for all your favors and blessings, for the awesome people I am surrounded and building a life with! As I said last year, life is not perfect (what is?), but it's kinda charmed, it's fab, it's full of promise and brimming with love! So many items ticked off my lists through the years, yet still so much on my plate and still on to bigger things with a ra ra ra on my sleeve! My heart is full and I'm feeling fab! LOL sorry for the lame attempt at alliteration. I am barely coherent, in a happy-drunken level. *giggle giggle*

A hearty, more coherent birthday post coming up soon. As soon as I get back to earth from Galaxy Cloud9, that is. :P

Brought to you by a little bottle of nail polish and quick-dry top coat

Happy second half of the year! :)

We are currently on staycation in - where else - Solaire. We checked in last night and we are checking out tomorrow. Whoopedo to two nights of r&r! The little boy is overjoyed, this is his constant wish after all. ;)

Aannd we're here again! Ha ha.

I am trying to blog in my iPad for the first time, while in bed as the little guy takes his afternoon nap beside me. Ohhh, the things that mommas can do while little ones sleep soundly! LOL.

Good thing I brought my entire kikay arsenal with me. I did my nails and donned my favorite nude polish, in 30 minutes tops, with no downtime at all, care of my super awesome hypercharged ultra quick-dry top coat. Those awesome little things! You mommas out there know it's nearly impossible to put on nail lacquer with their little ones around, albeit sleeping.

I remember, someone from a local online publication down South tried to make a ripple in the social media last year. Well at least, a bad ripple. She wanted to further the mommy wars by writing a dirty, twisted notorious piece that accused moms who are able to comb their hair, take a bath daily, put on the lightest of make up aka kahit powder lang, put together pleasing, decent outfits, and enjoy quiet dinner with their husbands are ALL BAD mothers. Yes, all of them, no excuses, no buts and ifs. And her biggest beef? Moms who wear nail polish. In her books, it is a crime to have well maintained and coloured tips and toes. Moms who do are the ones who totally neglect their children and are too self-absorbed to be worthy of being called a mom.

What momma was up to while the little one was sleeping. Credits to my super awesome hypercharged ultra quick-dry top coat. No down time at all! ;) Ermm, it looks unsightly, but trust me, it looks decent enough for office after washing off the smudges hehe.

My thought earlier, other than "wow, so judgmental, eh? does this even pass the laugh test and ampalaya test?" was -- ever heard of a quick dry polish or top coat, woman?! You should seriously try it. It works like magic, drying your polish in a minute so you don't have to "neglect" your kid for a single minute. Hee hee.

Not to say that her post credits some mulling over. It was a total vitriol, full of hatred and judgment, and too myopic to deserve an open and mature discussion. My point, other than quick dry top coat as the next best thing to cheesecake, is that mothers (and fathers too!) cannot give something they do not have.

Mothers cannot love and nourish another person if they don't feel loved and when their love tanks are empty. To nourish another soul, a mom must be nourished from the inside out. A mom cannot make her husband and children feel good if she does not feel good inside nor about herself. A mom has no business enforcing personal grooming and hygiene pointers if she herself has reckless disregard for those. A mom cannot take care of others if she can't even take care of herself. A woman cannot radiate infectious joy and vibrance (and be "ilaw ng tahanan") if she's so gloomy on the inside.

So much love and joy to give and receive :)

Friends who are close to me know I tend to be guilty about a lot of stuff when it comes to motherhood. I get guilty when I go to the salon or spend too much time on work. I get guilty when it's late and I'm still out, when it's supposed to be time spent with my little one. And hah! By late I meant 8:30ish.

But motherhood is an awesome journey and one learns the more valuable lessons along the way. I tend to loosen up and forgive myself more these days. In as much as I want to spend every single second with this little guy, I know that for my cup to overflow with love and joy, it must be a balanced concoction of: quality time with the little one; quality time with the husband; quality time with the little one and the husband, as a family; quality time with beloved family and friends; some me time; and various other meaningful pursuits such as challenging tasks and rewarding jobs, further education, travel, sports, and art (art?! pwedeng fashion and make up? hahaha).

Whatever floats your boat (those are some of what floats mine). But the bottom line is -- I advocate moms pursuing things that make them whole and taking care of themselves as best as they could. Balance is always the key to everything. :)

Ciao, going back to my sleeping baby. He keeps on stirring in his sleep. My nails are all dried by now, so no worries at all, even if he wakes up at this very moment. Hooray to my super awesome hypercharged ultra quick-dry top coat! Gosh, I can't stop gushing about it. Happy weekend, folks! :D

My dearest Thirdy,

Exactly two years ago since you came and changed my, our life forever. Thank you for the immense joy everyday, thank you for teaching us important lessons we wouldn't have learned any other way. Thank you for filling our hearts with so much love, love that knows no limit or weakness.

Exactly two years ago. One of the best days of my life, ever.

My biggest delight is watching you grow and flourish and turn into an incredibly sweet and smart little boy, wise beyond his year(s), as people who know you always comment. I pray for wisdom and guidance for us, your Mom and your Dad and the people we are surrounded with, so we can all help mold a man of many women's dreams a fine gentleman in the future. I pray for our closeness to endure and remain through the decades.  

I've said this before and I'll say it again -- you are a piece of Momma's heart beating outside her body. It is our biggest blessing to have been appointed as your parents, you little sunny old soul. :) As I said in my birthday letter to you last year, I love you more than I can ever put together in a letter. :)

I recently graduated from a professional course I signed up over two months ago. (Which also explains my inactivity here, hek hek.) We only meet for classes on Saturdays, but the class, and the course as a whole, had all-week-'round kept me ngarag and puyat inspired, ignited, and charged for a busy, brave season in the long horizon. And then, hungry and yearning for more, I took another course/ training after that.

You can say that I love being a student as much as I loved being a teacher. Class, training, hands on workshop -- if I were just this little bit interested with it and when I can feel that the universe is conspiring for me to attend it (I have a lot on my plate, after all), I'd gladly be signing up for it.

More than gaining the technical know-hows from these trainings, I value the network formed and that little something that was sparked within me. On the bigger scheme of things, I have a vision. And through these trainings, plus all the other ingredients I put in to enrich myself, this burning drive within me is awakened. It fuels me to move forward, to realize that vision.

Enough with the cryptic post. Back to regular programming.

But let me leave you with this first ;)

Photo not mine.